Why Am I Even Here? (Thanks Milton Bradley) by Geoff Bagman is a warm, irreverent trip through childhood dreams, rock-and-roll ambitions and a life lived with few regrets.

From a buzzcut and Apollo astronauts on the television to Woodstock, guitars, stadiums and bars, Geoff follows the strange path that led him to the final question — and one very cheeky family answer.

Why Am I Even Here? (Thanks Milton Bradley)

By Geoff Bagman

I chuckle sometimes
when I’m casting my mind
back to my little kid years.
Mum got the shits,
when I came home with nits
I got a buzzcut in spite of my tears.

But then on TV
I happened to see
The buzzcut Apollo crew
Collins, Armstrong, Aldrin
My Heroes! I was “all in”
I knew what I wanted to do.

I yelled DAD!
I wanna be a astronaut!
I wanna be shot into space!
He said “If I wasn’t so drunk
with your mother that night….”
“you probably would have been, Ace..”

A month went by and
a concert caught my eye
Woodstock. Black and white on the telly
I watched in awe,
Hendrix play, the crowd roar,
and I got me a fire in my belly.

I yelled DAD!
I wanna be a musician for a livin’
Rock and roll, Sing dance and play.
He gave a wry smile,
said “That’ll do for a while”
“Till you find yourself a real job, Okay.”

I’ve played stadiums and bars.
Slept on couches, benches, in cars.

Never wanted for too much at all.
Cars n’ buses bikes n’ trucks.
Smoked and drank way too much.
Lived the dream mate, I’ve had me a ball.

But here’s the bottom line.
lookin’ way back in time.
I never woulda been here, Mister.
If my parents hadn’t been.
Partying hard on Halloween.
and got naked and drunk, playing Twister.®

Keeping The Verse Alive

Why Am I Even Here? (Thanks Milton Bradley) is shared with permission from Geoff Bagman through Keeping The Verse Alive, Country Campfire’s bush poetry preservation project.

By preserving poems like this, we’re helping ensure the stories, humour and characters of country Australia continue to be enjoyed for generations to come.

Geoff Bagman

Bush Poet • Poetry Reciter • Entertainer • Professional Fool

Geoff Bagman is a Queensland bush poet, poetry reciter and self-described professional fool from Banana. His work mixes storytelling with self-deprecating humour, dad jokes, ham acting and good-natured mischief. His Country Campfire collection begins with Old Scar and will grow as more of his poems and performances are shared.

→ View Geoff Bagman’s Legend Page

Poems, recitals, photographs, stories and original works remain the property of their original creator and are shared by Country Campfire with permission.